Profile: The Scientist


What do you guys know about STEM? For a while there was a big push to get students involved in these fields and away from their preferred interests like HOBBIES and FUN. The scientist pictured here had nothing to do with all that. He simply contacted me one day after hearing that I was profiling some of his contemporaries and suggested I make a visit to the LAB. 

I found it strange that a man with a treasure chest labeled SECRETS would want visitors but that wasn’t the only mystery on the menu. I asked The Scientist if today’s experiment was about getting lab coats to come in more colors than just white but he said that was an issue for the STEM students of tomorrow because he had more pressing topics on his mind.

Turns out even The Scientist doesn’t know what the beaker contains until he does. He basically just pours SOLUTIONS back and forth for a good part of the day, standing there scratching his chin in bewilderment until the fumes penetrate his mind and clarify things. Then he pours a sample into a test tube, labels the tube, and puts the beaker aside for the lab’s dishwasher to clean later that night. 

This process is why scientists don’t have set hours, which STEM students may want to take into consideration when picking a career.  Some days whipping up a potion only takes minutes, other times it can take all night, altering the workflow of the lab’s dishwasher, who does work a set schedule, oddly enough.

Before I left, I asked THE SCIENTIST what was on the floor there next to the treasure chest, or was that too a secret?  He matter-of-factly replied that if it were indeed a secret then it would be inside the chest and not lying beside it, adding “does that make sense?”

That answer kind of ticked me off and served as a quick reminder why STEM students still need hobbies. I wanted to tell him to call it a day since it was now clear to me today’s potion was Condescension, but I knew he hadn’t meant it in a mean-spirited way.

Overall, I had a good time at the lab. My curiosity about the secrets wasn’t really much different than about the contents of the Thief’s sack, the Chef’s platter, or the Office Worker’s briefcase.

I asked The Scientist to let me know if he ever created a potion that would allow me to solve those mysteries, to which he replied that he had in fact been working on just that earlier in the day before spilling his progress onto the floor next to the Secrets.

Author: clownmouth

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